R.O.T.F.L.

If you can't decipher the above acronym I'll help you out there; it's Rolling On The Floor Laughing. Because that's exactly what I wanted to do after a few text messages were exchanged...


A little back story first, I will admit that I am on A DATING website or two gulp... And yes occasionally I get a nice messages, but mostly it's LITERALLY a bunch of creeps, weirdos, or a combination of the two! I'm nice sometimes and respond hoping for something... conversation mostly I guess, cuz after my most recent break up I don't if I want something right now. I'll be nice and say, I also met him online and dated for a few months to find out what a faker and simply putting it an ASSHOLE... no really it's putting it nicely. I've thought about blogging that one too, but I wouldn't want to say anything too mean and I'm honest enough to tell you that I'm still a little bit bitter about it.

So before you continue judging me so much, just remember that the name of the blog is UNATTACHED CONFESSIONS that means you the reader get to enjoy all my ups and downs of the relationship field. Well here's a down story to add to the books... and might I add a funny one at that.

I met said guy, we'll call him "D" to again be nice, online where I noticed right away that we didn't have a good match. 10% actually as it tells you, but I was trying to be nice and half trying to move on a bit. So I replied, got to talking and he wasn't so bad.


I exchange my number in hope for a date that weekend and then spontaneously my friends and I decided to go to a public ugly sweater party, so I thought perfect! It's public so I can kind of hang with him if I wanted and with the friends and the same time. Then he started again with the weird..

creepy #1: We sent me pictures...nothing dirt; but none the less, selfies were sent... then one of his dog, and finally one of his dinner. WHAT??!!? (ok the last was supposed to be for his mom.... RED FLAG..)

creepy #2: I had a friend with me who was staying the night. He thought he was being nice by inviting us over before hand for a drink, we've never met and that just sounds creepy...

creepy #3: when I tried politely saying Sarah and I needed to meet with our third sweater gal could we meet there, me meaning the huge party, he took as at his house WHAT!!? No dude, I don't even know you. After again back and forth texting I simply said, see you there. AND DONE.


NoooOope he then writes "I drank too much wine and have a buzz on so I can't leave the house right now" like seriously dude, you had plenty of notice that you were going out that night why the F did you drink?

 Second, are you a woman!??!? My god, man up, put on some pants and meet me...  Then he had the nerve to ask if I'd be out all night, in which I replied, hey yea! Teacher needs this night out, looking to drink! He responds: oh, thought if you weren't gonna be out all night, you might wanna stop by afterwards ... Um again NoooOooope! Don't think so highly of yourself there bub.

To say the least I was done.... He texted the following day and I was not answering. Then the following Sunday I receive this text:

I'm sorry, first of all I WAS WORKING all day. A baby shower in fact at the country club. Excuse me if I don't respond right away. Secondly, do you and excuse my language have a dick or a vagina?? Cuz it's hard to tell... I texted my friends instead of him and explained, then added that my ovaries are clearly bigger than his balls and ain't nobody got time for that! It really wasn't even worth responding back. Sorry if that seems mean...doesn't it? I had plenty a guys just go cold turkey on me...



Follow up to last Friday I receive a new text from an unknown number.... I was babysitting overnight, then forgot about it Saturday and babysat again, then saw it again on Monday and was with my friend Sarah who convinced me to text the number back...incase ya know it was random cute guy. I wasn't ...

The last part Sarah added...I really don't have the heart to be that brutally honest. I wish I did sometimes. I'd much rather be honest and upfront without running the risk of coming off like a bitch or too head strong or whatnot. 

Then of course I had to update Sarah on his response on my way home. Yes Mom I read a text while driving.. :0 

Such a good laugh about the whole thing! Hope you get one too!