I feel like the worst person lately...Maybe feelings of guilt is better, I'm not sure. For the past 7 1/2 years my family has been lucky enough to own a beautiful, playful, charismatic, and yes at times obnoxious and attention seeking Golden Retriever we called Alexis or Lexi for short (A names are a plus in our family).
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| Lexi's first day at home with us <3 |
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| Her first bath after playing with a slug in the yard, so little! |
She's a famous dog actually, in 2009 (wow, that's a while ago) my family made a funny video of Lexi chasing a
She's a star, dont ya think??
She truly is a fantastic addition/fourth child to our family and we've had wonderful times spent with her. Sadly a few months ago she was diagnosed with Lymphoma Cancer, where her glands (really all over her body) became swollen and undoubtedly extremely uncomfortable. The poor thing, I'd never wish this upon anyone or creature and it's the absolute worst to watch day in a day out.
A few weeks ago I started writing a blog piece about her and sobbed the entire time I typed. Ugh, It's just the utmost worst feeling in the world knowing her presence around the house is coming to an end.
I can't even look at my own dog for too long. I immediately begin to tear up and I have to walk away and not think about her never being here again. It's one of those, we have advanced warning of her probable death and yet I can't enjoy her. I know she's probably suffering, she went nearly a week without eating- extremely odd behavior for any animal, but this golden downs her food in seconds and doesn't appreciate anyone messing with her or the food during meal time-my brother will occasionally stick a hand in and bug her on purpose, they've always had a great relationship... I've envied it at times even. She's a beautiful dog with a family that's always been too much on the Go and hardly home to give her what she really deserved. We're really loving, but definitely could have done better by her. And now with her diagnosis of lymphoma cancer, she's getting all and any food (safe) she wants. Even my mother who has had a love but stronger hate relationship with her if giving her food (by throwing it far away) anytime she wants.
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| The lil bro and I sent this to the parents while they were away :) |
I'm going to miss her so incredibly much, it's unbearable to think about how empty the house is going to feel without her around. I'm going to miss her running to the door when someone comes home, her stealing washcloths off the kitchen counter while the family enjoys a television show, her paw prints on the stairs, barking at the door and having to search which door she's actually at, having to pull her off new people because she loved to socialize and loved people to know she was present.
It's truly one of those; "You don't know what you got till it's gone" situations and utterly blows. To Lexi, I'm sorry we couldn't do more for you! Love you beyond words, you'll be happy not to have your picture taken, and can truly rest in peace <3
Oh, and I'll miss her climbing on me during Thunderstorms. Why did it take me till now to realize she's my Thunder Buddy?!?!? Ugh, I'm now in search of a new one, never to replace only till the storm passes.
